


Not Your Daughter - Big Bang Entry

by Waveswriting



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Arguing, Big Bang Challenge, Kissing, M/M, Transphobia, anxiety/panic attacks, mentions of bullying, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 22:47:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15761289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waveswriting/pseuds/Waveswriting
Summary: This didn't fit on tumblr so now it's here! I hope everyone likes it and yeah! Please reblog my original post on Tumblr at waveswriting, and when the pictures are uploaded for the art portion of the challenge, they will be on my blog as well, drawn by the lovely pastel-princey!





	Not Your Daughter - Big Bang Entry

**Author's Note:**

> This didn't fit on tumblr so now it's here! I hope everyone likes it and yeah! Please reblog my original post on Tumblr at waveswriting, and when the pictures are uploaded for the art portion of the challenge, they will be on my blog as well, drawn by the lovely pastel-princey!

“Parties and dresses, all the more boring when you think about it, really.”

Emmanuelle had just turned 16, and of course, her parents had wanted to throw her the biggest party the kingdom had ever seen despite her constant protests. 

It wasn't as if she wanted to upset them by not having one, and it wasn’t as if they didn’t understand where she was coming from. It was that she couldn’t bear the thought of wearing a big puffy dress, all pink and sparkly, just for one day. She did that almost every day, so why couldn’t she have one day away from all of that?

So, where did she go when she needed to get away from all of the expectations and rules of being the ‘prettiest princess in all the land’? Her friend Patton’s. 

They had met at the start of high school when they were partnered for a project in history class. At the time no one knew she was the princess, as she wore camo pants and a loose shirt, hair dyed pink and swooped to one side. That isn’t what any past princess had looked like. 

Her dad’s were hesitant on letting her go out looking like that. Obviously, they would as they are of high power and need to look the part. “You’re a princess, and princesses don’t wear pants! Or a shirt like that! Or heck, even have dyed hair!” They would say. But after weeks and weeks of begging, they had let her do it. 

It was nice to gain friends without the fear of people only like her because of her social status, they just thought she was somewhere up there because of the things she had. Of course, there was always the added worry that they would find out, but she did her best to keep it hidden from schoolmates.

Patton was the first person that managed to break through her protective barrier, fairly quickly at that as well. It wasn’t the usual “hey’s” and “hi’s” she would usually get thrown at her. It was more of, “how are you”, “oh you aren’t that well? Well, I have a cookie if you want it!”.

He was, possibly, one of the nicest of people she had ever met. He accepted her no matter what she is, or who she wanted to be. Whenever someone was mean to her, and make fun of the way she looked, Patton would ‘deal with it’ and say it isn’t his fault if they come to school with a broken nose tomorrow. Emmanuelle knew that that was all for show, Patton couldn’t hurt a fly, not unless the person did something truly terrible to her.

“I thought you enjoyed all the stuff,” Patton said, emerging from the bathroom in his pyjamas, which was nothing more than black fluffy pants and a bright blue shirt with a kitten on it. Despite him being allergic to cats, he has a deep love for them.

She shrugged and fell onto his bed. It was bigger than a normal one, and almost took up one wall of his room. The sheets were a stained red and the comforter was one of the fluffiest blankets you could ever feel. The pillows were alright, she had stressed to him before that he needed better ones, as it felt like she was sleeping on a rock rather than something comfy.

“It’s called acting, my dear friendo.” She joked and sat up, crossing her legs and smiling up at him. She had managed to convince her dads that she could stay over at his house the night before the party.

“I didn’t know you were so amazing at acting. I mean, with the number of times I get you out of trouble, I should be the one that is good at lying,” Patton says as he flops down on the bed next to her and crossed his hands over his stomach.

It was true, he did get her out of all the trouble that they had managed to get into. He could always cover for himself, but it was difficult to get herself out of trouble. The one thing they do now that barely gets them into trouble anymore unless it’s a new officer on the force is running around the rooftops of the buildings.

All she did was shrug at Patton’s statement, and lay down next to him, staring up at the roof. It was a light blue with black and grey swirls, little dogs and cats strewn about the painting. Patton loved dogs as well, and luckily he wasn’t allergic to them, considering he had a big husky sleeping just across the room.

Patton had grown up with all sorts of animals, Emmanuelle did as well if you count where she was in life before being adopted by the Kings. She still wonders how that happened… anyways, he had grown up with almost every bird you could think of, different types of dogs, and a cat that he snuck in. It didn’t last long as his parents had to investigate the source of all his sneezing.

“You know,” Patton started, leaning on his side facing Emmanuelle. “I always wondered something about you.”

“And what would that be?” She asked, not moving from how she was laying, just shutting her eyes and letting herself feel the softness of his bed around her. “You don’t really like to wear dresses. Or even make up for that matter. Honestly, you seem to like being more of a guy than anything else.”

Patton said that as if it meant nothing, and to him, it may seem like nothing, but to her, that was the biggest thing that could have been said, but she didn’t know why.

“I don't know. Some days I hate it. But that’s why we have those get-togethers, remember?”

She didn’t need to open her eyes to know that she stumped him, that he was nodding while staring at the comforter below them, deep in thought. She had seen him questioning these things in his head before. The way his face twisted in odd confusion when he looked at himself in the mirror wearing one of her dresses.

It wasn’t uncommon to see him staring at himself a little longer in the mirror when he thinks she isn’t looking. She could see him look over himself in the dress and smile faintly as if that solved his issues. It was nice to see him content with himself in those moments.

But, she knew she was the same way, and she knew he saw it in her as well. She would put all these different types and colours of suits on, and it just felt… right. Patton was honest with her all the time, and he never told her that he wanted to be a girl. He had said that wearing a dress once and awhile felt nice, but never had he said he wanted to always be a girl. So maybe she was the same way?

Maybe it was just the feeling of the suit once and a while, maybe it was the wanting to wear pants and shirts, but not be a boy. She felt uncomfortable with looking and being a girl, but maybe that’s what Patton felt too? Maybe he felt the way she did but it wasn’t what she thought it was.

“Let’s go to sleep,” she told him, rolling up in the blanket underneath her and giggled when she heard him groan. “Well, share the blanket!” he complained, reaching over and grabbing it, pulling some of it from under her and curling up under it as well.

“But, now I’m cold!” She laughed again when he kicked her as she tried to take some of the blankets back. This is how it always went when she stayed over, she got most of the blanket and he complained and said he just got a corner.

“Deal with it.” He pulled some more over him and draped an arm across her. Despite having a big bed, they slept close to each other in case either of them woke up from a nightmare.

Their parents thought it was weird when they first saw them sleeping so close, given it was before Patton was out, but afterwards, they realized it was just as friends. So many people had told them they would be cute together or told them that they would make an amazing couple. Since Emmanuelle was the only person who knew that Patton was gay before his coming out, it made things a bit more awkward.

With that thought in mind, they both drifted to sleep, wondering about how the party would play out the next morning.

\---------------

The music blaring was the least of her worries as Emmanuelle entered the party, and it definitely wasn’t the number of people there either. Sure, those 2 factors combined made it for a very anxiety-inducing time, but they were just the least of her concerns.

No, her concerns lied on the fact that she was going to be wearing the biggest dress she had ever seen (which itself was a lie, it was a bit smaller compared to the one she wore when her dads got married). It was the fact that, as she looked into the mirror, she couldn’t see herself despite her face being in full view with all her makeup done up.

But the makeup didn’t help, as it wasn’t… her. All her facial features were there, but why did it seem so bland and… too girly. It wasn’t something that she wanted to go sporting around every day for the rest of her life, it would be a blessing to never wear makeup again. But she had to because she was a girl

Patton could feel the nervous energy that came off of her, and she was certain that the people she passed could feel it too as they stared a bit longer than they usually would have, but that could also be because of this big and puffy, bright pink dress she was wearing. He knew how much she wanted to leave the whole thing and stand outside and be away from all of the noise and the feelings of feeling gross and unwanted

He hadn’t been blind to what she was feeling inside, he had known her for 8 years, and after the amount of time they had spent together sharing secrets and getting into trouble, he thought she would tell him already.

They could read each other like a book they memorized front and back but left the end untouched in fear of how their stories will play out.

Because everyone has a book, and everyone has a chapter in someone else's. Or at least a little scene or line was written about them.

The book can end off in different ways or at different spots. It can be abrupt or you can see the ending coming from a mile away like a shit story written by someone who doesn't know the meaning of surprises. But there are those that are so well written it can take years to find all of the symbols and motifs, all of the recurring themes that appear throughout the handwritten pages.

The chapters can be short or long, they can be well written or poorly told. But no matter how much you know someone else's story, there are always those scenes that you can't seem to understand, and they are everywhere.

You can read them over and over again and never find the real meaning that lies between the lines that they wrote, and sometimes, the author doesn't know the real meaning of it either. Sometimes, it takes an outside source to tell you what they think it means and it's the meaning you've been looking for for years. Other times, they tell you and it is the complete opposite and they saw you in the wrong light and in the wrong way.

Everyone has a different view of you, a separate perspective of what you are with them and how you act. No one knows the true you, not even you. That meaning isn't hidden anywhere because there was no hiding to do in the first place.

You can't hide the feelings you feel and you can't hide who you kiss or who you have sex with, someone will always remember what happened. Whether that is you, the other, the person you told, or simply the creep through your bedroom window.

That creep can be a person, or it could be the trees that hit against your window and scared you as a child because you thought it was a monster, and mom and dad had to come save you from the terrible creature.

That creature can evolve though. From sticks and leaves to the constant screaming in your brain, or to the shadows that live in the darkest corners of your mind. We are all a victim of our own minds, and no matter how many times you, or someone else, reads your story back to front, no one will know the real you.

Everyone shares a different story. Even Patton with Emmanuelle. He feels as if he knows her front to back, but they are on different paths towards their futures, and there are so many points in their own separate lives that they can’t understand the story behind the one written.

Though Patton had been able to tell Emmanuelle was uncomfortable with what was going on, and what was going to happen that night, it still hurt knowing that he could not pinpoint the exact cause, one of the many scenes he couldn’t find the hidden message.

He originally thought that it was the fear of upsetting her parents if she were to leave early, but they told her that it was okay, so that couldn’t have been the reason. After they told her it was fine that she only stayed for a bit and not the whole party she was all wide eyes and ‘thank you’s.

Patton knew that he understood how she was around big crowds and parties, and especially ones that were centered around her. He understood why she wanted to get away, and why most of her closet had dark clothes in it. It was so she could hide away easier, which felt like a dream considering that she was the Princess of a whole kingdom

Her dads didn’t have a hard time getting used to the big parties and loud crowds caused by those that love them, King Roman definitely didn’t, considering that he was the Prince of the Kingdom since he was born. King Logan had gotten used to the crowds at school, and if the crowd of everyone in the Kingdom impacted him, he didn’t show it.

\---------------

Emmanuelle looked at the dress that was hung perfectly in the closet, front and center. It was bright pink, the bottom half brighter than the top, folding out of the corset and collecting on the floor. The top was smooth, little-jewelled designs lined with ringed gems. It was picked out by her dad’s specifically for this event, there were no plans for her to wear it in the future.

“I don’t understand…” she mumbles to herself as she crouches down, running her hands over the trim. “What’s wrong?” Patton asked, walking from the bathroom and over to her side.

“I don’t get why that they would put so much effort into a dress that I will only wear once. I don’t see a purpose it.”

“You say that about all of your clothes, and most times you’re right, but you actually like wearing some of that stuff, right?” Patton asks, watching her drop the trim of the dress the ground and raise to her feet. “We better get ready…”

They had arrived here late, and it was a mess getting in. It doesn’t look good when you and your best friend that are rumoured to be together, walk into a party dressed only in their pyjamas, later than fashionably allowed. Thanks to the guards that were keeping watch at the front doors that directed them to the side of the building, into the hallways of the back passages of the castle, meant for easy travel if there were people over.

And while everyone knew of Patton’s sexuality, as it was hard to keep it under wraps when you are best friends with the Princess of a kingdom, many people believed that he and Emmanuelle were together, and Patton would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t think about them together.

But Emmanuelle is a girl, and he likes guys, he is so sure of it. So, why did the thought of being with her feel so… right? Sure it could be a platonic thing, but it seemed like it could-would-turn into something more than that.

Maybe it was the cause of things seeming to happen with her recently, the weird way she has been acting could be taking a toll on him, and he feels like he needs to protect her in some way, but that didn’t feel like it filled that empty spot in his heart.

The way she has been acting was never made into the way he is feeling now, he was there for her through everything in high school. When people would be mean and hurt her before Patton made himself part of the picture in her life before people feared the 2 of them being together as they were, possibly still are, a force to be reckoned with.

But besides all of that, it still felt like there was more behind them than anything platonic, more than simple little feelings, and more than the dress up dates that they did. It felt like their world was on fire and only spilling the truth would save them from feeling like they had to protect each other from the internal demon they separately fought.

They had kissed before in the past, and Patton never read anything into it, as it only felt like it had been platonic, trying to forget the moment and ignore the burning sensation across his lips that flared up whenever the memory crossed his mind.

* * *

_It was after prom night, and they had gone as friends as neither were able to find a date, not that they minded, it was better to go with your friend than with a partner who would pull you to slow dance with them. Instead, they spent those dances on the side, criticizing every mistake a certain couple made, and silently laughing at those that tripped over each other's feet._

_Patton had invited her back to his house, after getting permission from her fathers and from his parents. It was hard to be able to escape early without it seeming they were sneaking off to have sex in the bathrooms, but they had managed to do so when the DJ got everyone's attention to the stage and no one noticed the light that shone into the dim lit gym for a split second._

_Once they had entered Patton’s room, they let out a sigh of relief. It was near midnight, and they were both exhausted and thankful they had managed to escape, for if they didn’t leave then they would be stuck till 3 in the morning waiting for the few first people to leave._

_“Thank god we got out of there, it smelt so bad,” Emmanuelle complained, kicking her flats off of her feet and onto the floor near the door, dropping her bag of clothes and makeup on his bed._

_“It’s like no one in there has ever heard of a shower or deodorant,” Patton replied, taking his suit jacket off and laying it across one of the many chairs that lay across his room. “Are you surprised? It’s high school.”_

_Emmanuelle began looking through her bag, sighing. “I forgot to pack a pyjama shirt,” she mumbled out, grabbing her makeup wipes and pants she managed to sneak out for the night. “Do you mind if I-”_

_She was cut short as Patton had thrown one of his shirts at her to sleep in, chuckling when it landed over her head instead of next to her where he aimed for. “I guess that answers my question,” she breathes out, pulling the top off of her head. “I’ll be back.”_

__

_And with that she runs out of the room with her things and into the hallway bathroom to change, switching the bright, pastel blue dress with a bit of flare at the end, in exchange for dark purple pyjama pants and a long and flowy cat shirt._

_When she had made her way back into the room, she remembered her makeup, forgetting to take it off in the bathroom. Patton had been lying in the bad, barely noticing that she entered the room again, only speaking up when he heard her reach for her makeup bag._

_“Is that the chemical stuff that almost burns your skin?” He asks, earning a soft yes in return. She grabbed it and rose to her feet, stopping when Patton called out again, “come here.”_

_He rose from the bed and went past her to the bathroom, grabbing something and walking over to her, gently grabbing her chin and swiping the cold cloth he brought with him over her cheek._

_The feeling danced on her face and lingered long, the skin to skin contact his fingers were providing felt like a small fire had sparked alive under her chin and made her face feel alive. Sensing something may be wrong, he pulled the cloth away, studying her face._

_“You don’t look like a gremlin yes,” Patton muttered to himself, it being heard by Emmanuelle, which resulted in him getting a swift punch to his arm. “Ow!” he exclaimed. “I am going to bruise now!”_

_“Suffer. I am not a gremlin,” Emmanuelle retorts, letting Patton raise the cloth again and wipe her face clean of any makeup, relishing in the way her face didn’t flare up in a heat of pain after every swipe._

_After Patton had pulled away and finished clearing the makeup off of her skin, the hand that was holding her chin remained as the 2 locked eyes. Neither moved or showed any sign of wanting to move and breaking the eye contact they were holding._

_Something was there, and it warmed both of them as their bodies forget of the cold wind that was blowing throughout the room, entering from the open window. One moment they were standing across from each other, the next Patton had surged forward and locked their lips together._

_Emmanuelle didn’t pull away, it was like something at the back of her mind told her to kiss back, to kiss Patton back with the same passion he kissed her with. It was weird to be kissing someone that is your best friend in a way that doesn’t seem platonic, or fleeting accidental kisses._

_This was passion, it sparked and though it was a bit messy, as neither had been kissed before, it felt perfect to them, like they were to do this years ago and never stop. But it ended all too soon, as the 2 of them pulled away and were flushed, still staring at each other with the same look they had before the kiss. Playful and confused._

_The moment didn’t last long afterwards, as Patton gave her a small smile before throwing the cloth away and jumping onto the bed, curling under the blanket, leaving Emmanuelle alone with her thoughts on what just happened._

_No one knew of the incident, and the 2 of them have never spoken of it since._

* * *

“She isn’t here yet!” King Roman exclaimed, pacing back and forwards just down the hall of Emmanuelle’s room. “She said she would be here before 9 and it is almost 10!”

If there was anything the people of Regnum knew about their king, it was that he was a stickler for being on time, it was almost worrisome for how serious he takes it. His husband, King Logan, usually had to calm him and down and make sure they didn’t arrive too early for events. “Roman, she and Patton probably lost track of time doing who knows what, she will be here soon.”

Those words were meant to try and soothe whatever King Roman was feeling, but they did nothing but raise the feeling of worry inside. “Are they together? Are they doing things-”

He was unable to finish his question when the other cut him off. “Patton,” he started. “Is gay, Roman, you know this.”

Though they were meant to soothe his husbands worry, the did nothing to soothe the pain that shot through his own chest at the thought that there must be something going on between the 2 of them. He knew it was irrational to think something of the sort, but they were teenagers, who knew what they could be up to in the late hours of the night.

“Right, sorry, I forget sometimes with how close they are.” King Roman sighed and rubbed his face, making his way to his husband and standing beside him. “I feel as if there is something more, something we do not know about them.”

King Logan nodded, of course understanding how he feels, standing up off the pillar and pacing where the other just was. Both of his hands at this point had switched positions from where they were previously crossed along his chest. One wrapped tight around his middle, the other draped down his side. This was the stance he took when he was making a decision to himself.

From here on it can go in 2 separate ways, he can either agree or disagree with his thought or idea. He denies of this ever being a thing that he does after it being pointed out countless of times by Emmanuelle and King Roman. He watched, eyes trained on the long or short turns he would make, the length he would pace, and where his eyes focused while deep in thought. Them moving from the wall to the floor, the ceiling and him.

After what felt like years, King Logan finally stopped, saving his husband’s sanity of continuously watching him pace, he reached a hand up to scratch his head, then slid that hand down his face and cupped his chin. The other arm lowered and fell against his side, the hand at his face doing the same.

“What did you just say yes to?” King Roman asked, his shoulders tensing as he stared at his husband. “Nothing of importance at the moment, it is alright my love,” the other spoke, making his way to his majesty, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“Will I ever get to know?” He asks with a slight laugh, promptly getting pinned against the pillar he was leaning against, King Logan looming above him.

“Possibly.” And with a light peck on his husband’s lips, King Logan pushes off of him and walks down the hallway, retreating back towards the party that was still roaring loudly into the night.

It took a few moments for King Roman to return to the party as well, trying to piece together what just occurred. But with a swift head shake, he pushed off of the pillar and followed his husband's footsteps to find him among the people.

With the louder the music got the closer he got towards the party, he failed to hear a door swing shut behind him, the door leading into Emmanuelle’s room.

“Do you think they know?” Patton asked, looking at Emmanuelle. She stood still, eyes full of fear at that thought alone. No one was to know, no one except Patton’s parents.

She stayed there, staring at the door and started to sway back and forwards, the fear getting to her whole body as it felt hard to stand. If it weren’t Patton being there, she would have fallen onto the ground. Except his arms that were ready to catch her and lower her to the ground.

“Woah,” Patton exclaimed as he was reaching out to catch her. He understood why she was like this, well, to an extent. He knew part of the story, but barely the aftermath of the event.

Her mom had found her putting her brothers, Thomas’, clothes on. From a young age she always had a liking for guys clothes more than girls, and since she and her twin brother were the same size, it was perfect.

When they would leave the house, she would run in and try on as many clothes as he wanted and keep the ones that she liked. Her brother knew but never told, and he tried so hard to get their mother to let her stay home.

That didn’t happen, at a young age she was kicked out of the house and forced to live alone in the streets of Regnum. This was during the years near the end of her, now, grandparents ruling, so it was so much worse rather if it were now.

That was the extent Patton got to the story, it wasn’t much and very vague, but it’s what Emmanuelle was comfortable with when telling him, and he wasn’t going to push it. There was always going to be one thing that he felt that she would never tell her, and it was what was in the box she kept under her bed.

There must be something under there from her past, one or more things that she would rather keep hidden than come to terms with. For now, he couldn’t dwell on what was in the box but on his best friend that almost fainted in front of him.

Emmanuelle slowly came to her senses and sat up, Patton’s hands remaining on her back to make sure she would be safe if she were to pass out again. “Are you okay?” he asked.

She nodded and looked at her hands, sighing softly. “Yeah… yeah, I’m okay.”

“Do you think they know?” he asked again, moving his hands in soothing circles around her back, hoping she will answer this time. “No,” she breathed out after a few moments. “I don’t think so. They may be suspicious, but I don’t believe the fully know. They would have said something about it.”

Patton nodded and stilled his hand movements, thinking. Sure, they had no idea that he and Emmanuelle were listening, but why weren’t they voicing their thoughts. Can they really be sure that they have an idea of what was going on? It seemed that King Logan might, but he didn’t say anything so they can’t be sure.

Emmanuelle shifted, her glance moving from the door to her bed, more so the bottom of it. She did this when she was thinking of a decision, much like her Dad, except you didn’t know if she was going to agree with her point of action.

“Let’s go…” she whispered out, rising to her feet and smoothing out her dress, helping Patton to his feet then doing the same to his suit. Something was on her mind and he could tell.

“Will you be okay?” he asked, holding onto her arms gently before she could leave the room. She exhaled deeply and looked into Patton’s eyes, nodding softly. With that, they left the room and headed towards the party.

\---------------

Entering the party was a nightmare. There were people everywhere and it was hard to get around. Emmanuelle knew that there would be people there, but it was like the whole town was there!

The amount of people present was one of the reasons she didn’t want a party and the only reason she agreed to have the party was to not upset Dad and Pa.

* * *

_“Do I really have to have one? Dad?” Emmanuelle asked, looking towards Dad with begging eyes. Pa just told her that she had to have one roughly 7 times at this point, and every time she refused because it wasn’t what she wanted._

_Dad just shook his head and crossed his arms, sighing deeply at his daughter's constant attempts to refuse the party. “Pa is right, Em,” he started. “This is your 16th birthday. Why do you not want to have one?_ ”

_“Whenever we have a bunch of people over it hurts my head and chest, there is so much pressure to be…perfect.” She hung her head ow and shut her eyes. Pa bent down in front of her on one knee, placing a hand on her shoulder and using the other to lift her head as she opened her eyes._

_“Emmanuelle, in front of others we have to present ourselves in ways that make us look like we are perfect, even if behind the scenes we never really are.”_

_“But why do we have to look perfect? We aren’t.” She started to tear up as she looked between her dads. “Let Pa finish, sweetie,” Dad told her._

_She took her chin out of Pa’s hand and hung it low again, not wanting to look into their eyes in case they showed something other than love. No matter what they could say, she wouldn’t change her view on why they had to be perfect._

_“We can only show our imperfections to those we are closest with,” Pa explained, glancing back at Dad in the process. “I had Dad when we were your age, and you have Patton, correct?” he asked, shifting his glance from Dad and over back to her._

_Emmanuelle nodded, sighing. Pa was right in a way. Patton knew her better than anyone else, better than her fathers in most places. He knew how she was feeling before her sometimes._

_“He helps you, and you can go to him for anything. He is the one besides us that can see you break.”_

* * *

Patton and Emmanuelle weaved through the crows, hands locked tight together as they tried to find their parents. It wasn’t hard to spot her dads, the bright white and dark blue stood out easily against all of the red and light blue that the others were wearing.

The only problem with trying to find them in a situation like this is that most of the time they were bent down talking to a child, completely out of view. It wasn’t as if it was bad that they were doing that, it was extremely kind with how they treated the kids.

It was that the kids tended to hang around in the middle of the room, where the most amount of people were, so they were able to get more compliments on their outfit that night. Her parents were the ones to try and compliment every kid, so it was safe to say that they were in the middle of the room.

Patton continued to pull her through the crowds, trying to stay along the outside of the room. He knew she had a problem with large social gatherings, and when she was made to go or stay, she usually stuck to the edges of the room. If not it was to one of her dad’s hips.

That was one thing that Patton loved about Emmanuelle, her shyness. It was hard to believe that the girl that hoped roofs with her at night was also so timid and shy in front of others.

“Patton are you sure you know where they are?” Emmanuelle asks, looking around at all of the guests, most of which gave her a small head nod as a greeting when they flew by. Some turned away when once they saw that Patton was with her.

There were small groups that disliked the idea that Patton was her best friend, stuck in the mindset that her grandparents left behind. They thought that she should be more closely acquainted with someone from another kingdom, marry into another family.

Her parents would never do that though, wanting her to be with whoever made her happy and whoever she wanted to marry. If that was someone from the lowest class or someone from another kingdom, then so be it. But it was her decision, not anyone else's.

“I’m positive. I saw them just over here!” They turned a corner and slowed their pace to a walk as they entered a corridor. Her parents were standing at the end of it, having another private conversation. The people are probably going to be talking about how weird the royals were acting tonight. Hiding behind a pillar, Emmanuelle and Patton listened in.

“Look, all I am saying is maybe she wants to try something different!” Dad sounded upset and angry, whatever they were talking about, it had to do with her. Had she done something wrong?

“But being different is what got us beat up in high school. Do you want that to happen to her?”

“Is that all you are focused on right now? With the number of guards we have that is the least of our worries. You and I can both tell that she is unhappy right now!”

Dad was getting louder and louder the more he spoke, sighing out loud to settle the nerves that sparked in his core, he calmed before continuing. “Don’t you want her happy?”

Pa sighed and looked around the corridor, running a hand through his hair. “Of course I want her happy, but how do you even know that she wants this? She just turned 16 and we barely know anything from her past before adopting. What if we try and it all goes wrong?”

He sounded worried, and Emmanuelle guesses he has a reason to be. Dad and Pa barely knew of her life before meeting her in the streets, all records of anything that had to do were wiped clean the second she got kicked out. It was like she was barely a person anymore.

Though Patton was her best friend, there was still so much she didn’t know about her. Given, he knew more than her parents, it was all in pieces, a story barely told the whole way through, left in bits for Patton’s mind to piece together before he was told the rest.

“We won’t know if it’ll work or not if we don’t try. I truly believe that she needs this.” Dad sighed and held his arms tight. “I walked in on her and Patton trying on each other's clothes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her happier…”

* * *

_“What do you think?” Emmanuelle asked as she spun around in one of the many outfits Patton had brought with him for her to try on. It was a light blue suit matched with a deep purple tie._

_“It looks amazing! I think that is my favourite on you.” Patton sat on the bed, one leg crossed over the other. He sported a dark purple dress with a short light blue cardigan._

_He had to admit that the dress felt nice, and was definitely a change from his usual pants and shirt. Emmanuelle had texted him, asking him to bring some of his over, that she had an idea she wanted to try. This isn’t what he expected it to be, not that he was complaining._

_He didn’t expect for various outfits to be sprawled around the room as they tried on outfit after outfit to find the one they liked the most. He didn’t expect to like the feeling of a dress or a skirt as he tried at least 20 at that point, and after each time it never felt wrong. Though he loved the feeling and would love to wear skirts and dresses more often, it would never be for an extended period of time, it got very very cold after a bit._

_With a wide smile, Emmanuelle turned back towards the mirror behind her, looking herself over once more. The suit fit just right. It was snug around her upper arms and had a bit of flare at the cuffs, matching the end of the jacket. Despite how bright it was, she loved it._

_Patton noticed the glee in her eyes that rarely saw, smiling at the sight of her being so happy. “You can keep it if you wish,” he told her, standing and making his way over, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder. She only smiled wider at that, resting her hands on his at her front._

_It was peaceful and calm as the 2 looked at themselves in the mirror, faint smiles on their faces. There was no worry here, no screaming minds reminding them that they are in the wrong body or clothes, nothing to disrupt the atmosphere that just got created. Just silence._

_They were so lost in their empty minds that they almost missed the sound of a door shutting. Both of them snapped their heads to it, fear written across their faces at the thought that they just got caught._

_They just wrote it off at the wind blowing through the open window that shut the door shut all the way._

* * *

He saw that? Why didn’t he say anything until now? And why was it to Pa and not the 2 of them?

Emmanuelle sent a worried glance to Patton, which made him grip her hand tighter in response. He was trying to hold it together and not show that he was just as scared as her, that it didn’t impact him when it really did. Emmanuelle knew it was an act when the action didn’t reach his eyes, showing just how scared he was.

If word got out that they had done that, that they still do that, it would be a witch hunt for the both of them. What they were doing could be seen as illegal in some people’s eyes. There were no laws for or against it, but Emmanuelle’s grandparents showed a great distaste for people that did what they do.

“We can try, but don’t quote me on that,” Pa sighed out.

It sounded like the conversation was over, but Patton and Emmanuelle didn’t dare move for the fear of being caught. Usually getting caught wasn’t an issue, as it had happened many times before. But none of those were them listening in to a conversation. If they were to be found listening in to this one, they would be in more trouble then either would realize.

When they heard footsteps approaching, Patton pulled her tight to his chest and hid in the shadow that the pillar cast. It was a bit hard to hide a girl in a bright pink dress, it standing out against the dark browns and red of the wall, but he had managed to do so as the Kings passed with ease.

Once they had passed, and once they had turned the corner to head back to the party, Emmanuelle ripped herself from Patton’s grasp and started taking the back corners to her room. Tears were streaming down her face as she hastily tried to wipe them away as fast as they fell out of her eyes.

Patton was quick to follow her, glad for the absence of guards in those halls as he was yelling her name, begging her to slow down so he could catch up. It was harder to catch up to her as he was wearing dress shoes, and she had managed to get her parents to allow her to wear sneakers with her dress.

When she reached her room she threw her door open and laced her hands through her hair, beginning to pace back and forwards in her room. She was pulling at her hair and breathing heavily, the tears still streaming down her face when Patton walked in.

He slammed the door shut when he got in, running to her and struggling to get her hands unlaced from her hair, a battle between the 2 almost broke out by the time he had managed to free them from the tangled mess.

“Stop! Let go!” Emmanuelle screeched at Patton, trying to pull away from him. His hands felt like a dead weight on her like if she didn’t get away now she would be dragged under water and she could never resurface.

Patton didn’t let up. He kept a tight grip on her as he wrestled her onto her bed, sitting up and holding her close to him, trying to get her to calm down and stop screaming before a passing guard heard and entered the room. He did not want to explain why the princess was screaming and he was basically wrestling her to calm down.

“Emmanuelle. Calm down. It is just me,” Patton tried to sooth, rubbing circles on her back as she slowly began to calm down, still thrashing around and trying to get away.

It took nearly an hour to get her fully calmed down, breathing heavily as she relaxed in his lap. He was carding his hand through her hair trying to fix it without hurting her. “Is everything okay?”

He only got a small head shake no, her starting to fiddle with her hands on part of her dress. “How come?” Patton asked.

“It just isn’t…” Her voice was hoarse from the hour of screaming and crying and fighting. They know something is up, and know what that one thing is. What if I’m…not supposed to continue to dress like a guy? What if they try and they do fail and they get mad?” She rambled and rambled, slowly getting pulled closer and closer to Patton’s chest as she starts to cry again, thankfully less violent.

“Em,” Patton starts softly. “What is going on?”

There was a beat of silence before she answered, sniffling and quiet. “I don’t want to be a girl…”

\---------------

Emmanuelle continued to cry for a few hours, clung to Patton’s hip. He continued to let her cry. His jacket had gotten almost soaked at the shoulder, so he removed it and let her cry into it 10 minutes ago.

Emmanuelle could only think about how Pa was right with what he said about being perfect, Patton was the only one she let her see break like this. The only one she would let hold her for hours as she cried out all of the frustrations and sorrow she was feeling. Patton would be the only one she would want-besides her parents-to hold her like this.

When she confessed that she didn’t want to be a girl, he didn’t say anything, just hugged her tighter and made sure his arms were fully around her body. He made her feel safe that way, made her feel like nothing could touch her but him.

“Emma,” Patton started, slowly bringing her back to her senses. “We need to talk about what you told me.” Emmanuelle knew that they had to, you can’t just confess that you don’t want to be something you have been for so long to someone and not talk about it.

Sitting up and away from Patton, Emmanuelle wiped her eyes and looked around her room, everything seemed so different. The pink that decorated most of it seemed to offset, too bright, the few purple things seemed not dark enough, and everything just seemed like it wasn’t her.

Her shoulders felt relaxed, her whole body did really. She felt lighter and that if she were to fall over she wouldn’t fall but float, like she was full of helium. Maybe it was finally telling someone what she has been thinking for so long, accepting it fully herself at the same time.

For a long time, as long as she could remember, she knew she didn’t like the fact she would grow up to look and be like her mother, didn’t like that she would be a girl or a woman. Telling Patton this is like telling herself everything she thinks isn’t total bull. That it’s okay for her to be this way.

Emmanuelle nodded and looked down at her lap, placing her hands there among the mess of her dress that got all ruffled from the slight moving she did in the past hour. “I know we need to talk, but…I don’t even…. I don’t know where to start or stop or think… My brain feels like mush honesty.”

She chuckles at the end of that, looking up at Patton, who had a faint smile on his face. “You look ridiculous, by the way,” he told her. Her mascara was running, eyeshadow smudged, lipstick rubbed half off. She basically looks like she just got broken up with and was crying into a container of ice cream.

“Shut up.” She wipes her face, laughing softly. She knew she looked like a mess, didn’t need Patton to tell her that.

He chuckled as he looked around the room, trying to figure out how to help her more, a thought coming to his head. “What pronouns do you want me to use for you?” He looked back at her, holding one of her hands.

“Uh…” She didn’t know, never thought that she would ever come to a moment like this in her life. Obviously, she knew that he/him would work, but if she told Patton that would he agree?

He didn’t rush her, let her take her time in thinking what she wanted Patton to use. It took a bit for her to think before she breathed out and looked at her lap. “Uhm…can you call me a he instead of a she..?"

“Of course I can!” Patton immediately said, wrapping his arms around the smaller one. “Is there any name changes you want me to use?” He asked. Emmanuelle shook his head, wrapping his arms around the other as well. “No…it would be too confusing, but, could you use Em as a nickname?” Patton nodded, smiling wide at how open Em had gotten.

He always had trust issues, whether it was to Patton, his dads, or anyone from his life, it was always hard to trust others ever since he had gotten kicked out years ago. This is the one thing that, no matter how far into the future, he will have to be open with everyone on. Can’t really escape the viewing eyes of others if you are in a place of royalty.

They sat like that for a while, wrapped up in each other’s limbs, eyes shut as they breathed deeply. It had fallen silent like when they first tried on each other’s clothes. The silence that was perfect and amazing, and the kind that made sense to each other and that this is how things were to be. Only this time there was no sound of a door closing from someone listening in.

\---------------

“How about this one?” Patton asked, holding up a slick black dress with a cut at one of the legs. A dress that Em didn’t wear lots, where would someone even wear that dress, it was way too formal to just walk around in. But, despite that, he loved it. The colour was dark, the fabric was amazing, and in situations, he ruled the place in that dress.

“I like that one,” he replied, giggling when Patton pouted. “Shame…it would look amazing on me.” He cast the dress aside into the keep pile with other dark coloured dresses lay that Em wanted to keep.

“Yeah, if you ever decide to shave your hairy monkey legs.” Em got a shocking gasp as Patton threw a hand over his chest in mock offence. “My legs look 10 times better than yours!”

“At least mine are shaved and don’t look like a jungle!”

“Shaved legs do feel nice…” Patton faded off, smiling wide and shrugging, turning around and pulling out a bright pink dress with a sequined top and, what looks like, a tutu bottom. Em’s face showed all the disgust he held for that one. “There is a reason that is at the back of the closet.”

Patton chuckled and nodded, throwing it in the donate pile. The ‘game’, as Patton had called it when Em questioned why he was going to his closet, continued like that for another hour. By the end of it, at least half of his clothes were being kept, very few were bright, and those were only because they had a good feeling fabric.

Throwing the rest of the clothes into a bag that they would drop off a donation center early morning before Em’s parents woke, Patton walked to the bathroom and grabbed some clothes, ones that he had let him keep, a towel, scissors, and makeup wipes that were okay for his skin.

“Change,” Patton told her, throwing the pyjamas at him before moving a chair to a mirror at the far end of the room, dragging a table to sit beside it and put hi supplies on it. 

Changing, Em made his way over, pulling his hair out from the back of the shirt.

“What are you doing?” He asked, looking at his friends’ setup. “I’m going to cut your hair! You have told me too many times to count over the years that you hate your long hair so I feel now is the time to do it!”

“Do you even know how to cut hair?”

“No…but I can always learn! Now sit!” Patton shoved him onto the chair, causing a laugh to sound from Em’s mouth as he placed his hair behind the chair so Patton has easy access to it. “Just go shoulder length, I don’t want it to short where my dad’s get mad.”

He nodded, looking at him through the mirror before grabbing the makeup wipes and making his way in front of the other, crouching down so they were level with each other. Pulling a makeup wipe from the package, he began to swipe it over his face, removing the makeup.

Em looked over Patton’s face, smiling softly at the gentleness he had with him like he always had with him. Gently reaching out, he brushed his fingers against his eyelashes, making Patton freeze his hand where it rested on her cheek. “What are you doing?”

“Your eyelashes are so long. Why are they so long..?” Em asked, continuing to gently brush them, a faint smile on his lips. Patton chuckles, letting him continuing dragging his hand across them. “I don’t know.”

Emmanuelle rolls her eyes and switches hands, dropping the previous one and raising the other to brush over the other eye’s. “If you poke me in the eye so help me…” Patton trails off, chuckling as Em snorts.

“Don’t tempt me.” He chuckles and pulls his hands away, resting them in his laps as he lets Patton finish wiping his face clean of all the makeup. “You ready to cut all of this off?” He asked, reaching around to grab a bit of hair and showed it to the smaller that sat in the chair. With a short nod from Em, he got to work.

\---------------

An hour later, and many almost mistakes along with lots of laughing, Em’s hair had gone from the middle of his back to just resting on his shoulders. It was short enough that a hat could be thrown on, or to be put into a ponytail to make it seem shorter.

Throughout the whole process, while he had managed to laugh and have a bit of fun, he was terrified, scared as to what his parents would say about this. What if they didn’t like that he now had short hair? Would they get mad?

Now that it was over, it was like he was a whole different person, but still the same all the way. His face was the same shape, but with his hair now short it seemed… different. His  
eyes seemed closer together, face more round a chubby, eyes bigger, nose smaller, lips wider. It was all the same features, none have changed, so why did he feel happier when it was like this?

He supposed that it was because of the way it felt, how this felt like the best thing in the world, under being accepted by Patton of course. But now the fear of her parents accepting her or not settles in, and she has time to think if it really will happen.

They have always been supportive in every decision she wanted to make with her life, but those never stretched to never wanting makeup again and cutting her hair. Not that she has ever indulged in those things before.

Most of her fear that was shared among her dads rested on Pa. He still had some of the views that his parents had, which somewhat makes sense given that they did raise him. Recently, his view of him disliking how people dressed like the opposite sex showed, Dad had managed to make him shut up in front of others before he said anything too bad. Who knows what he's thinking after Dad told him what he saw.

Em had always trusted Dad with a majority of what he thought and what he wanted to do. He made him feel that everything he thought wasn’t normal, was completely logical. Didn’t like large crowds? He would say it would be because of her past. Constantly trying to blend in and not be seen, but now that he has no choice but to be in the public eyes, the change was fast and it had that impact.

Had a hard time being around others that he didn’t know? Once again because of his past. He was surrounded by people that he didn’t know, and those people would hurt him. It is the fear that those people will do it again, or there will be people like that. Pa would say that those aren’t something he should be dealing with given how he is flooded with the presence of others.

It wasn’t that Pa didn’t try to understand, he really did, it was that he went about it the wrong way and his views seemed to overpower Em’s. I took a bit of convincing from Dad to not let him go on tangents like he tended to do about other things.

It was hard to say that he wanted things to change, that he wished they would both be accepting of him no matter what he wanted to do or be. They tried, but sometimes trying doesn’t always lead to them actually doing it.

His dad’s have given him so much and done anything they can for him, and he appreciates it, which is why this is so hard. Why isn’t he happy with all they have done? Why does it feel because he knows Pa won’t accept this one thing it feels like the end of the world? He had never had a life like this, definitely an upgrade from when he was little, so why isn’t he happy? Why is it like he is throwing it all away?

The more he sat there thinking staring at his haircut, the more he thinks of all the “why”’s, and the more he started to regret even coming out and doing this. Patton noticed that Em hadn’t spoken for a bit, just staring at himself in the mirror.

“Em? Are you okay?” Patton’s voice cut through the fog that clogged his ears, snapping him to his senses as he sat up straighter and shifted his eyes to be on Patton, who had moved to crouch down in front of him.

Just about as he was going to respond, a voice from behind him called his name, sternly. It caused him to stand up quickly, Patton following suit and wrapping his arms around Em’s waist to keep him tight to his chest.

Pa was standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed over his chest, Dad leaning against the doorway and looking at Pa with concern. He did not look happy as he gestured to Em’s hair, then to the hair that was cut off on the floor, before letting it cross back over his chest. “What is the meaning of this?”

Em glanced at Dad, who still had his eyes on Pa, before looking back at her other parent. “I…uh…” He couldn’t make out a sentence before forced to when he raised an eyebrow as the younger. “I…wanted to cut it? Y-you…you always said that I could if I wanted to…and I did?...”

Pa sighed and looked at Dad, an uneasy look on his face. Dad didn’t even glance at the younger 2, mouthing something to Pa that Em counted make out. Whatever it was, it made Pa leave the situation be. “Just…let us know next time okay?”

He left the room, barely leaving any room for Em to answer. Slipping past Dad, Pa walked down the hall to his room. The room remained tense, the 3 remaining patients not moving. Dad stared down the hallway, waiting for the echo of a door closing before entering his child’s room and following suit by shutting the door.

He faced the others, seeing how scared and tense Em was broke his heart. This was the one thing he never wanted for any of the kids that he would raise, it hurt more given that he knew Em’s past. He knew that Em being upset was partly his fault.

He was his child, his responsibility, Roman and his. They adopted him for who he was, who he wanted to be and love, whatever happened they would be behind him. Through his eyes now, it may seem like his biggest supporters weren’t there.

“Are….are you mad?” Em asked, starting to shrink further back into Patton’s hold. Dad just shook his head. “No, I am not mad. But-” he walked towards his kid, crouching down low so he seemed smaller. “You do have to tell me what is going on so I can help.”

He tried to stutter out a response, looking over Dad’s face as he tries to figure out what he could say. He couldn’t say that he was fine, that was a lie and everyone in the room knew it. So he didn’t answer. Em slipped out of Patton’s grasp and fell into his Dad’s, starting to cry all over again in his hold.

\---------------

Hours later, the party was slowing down as people began to leave, a few stragglers remaining that would later be led out by guards. But for now, the real problem relied on the situation happening behind the closed door.

King Logan had been able to move his crying son to the bed, continuing to hold him close, reminiscent of what happened not long ago with Patton. He continued to cry and cry, confessing why he cut his hair, what he feeling, and everything in between.

Dad hadn’t said anything, rocking him and trying to calm him down as best as he could. It slowly started working, taking longer for him to calm down in this scenario.

With Patton, he knew more about Em, so coming out to him was nerve-wracking, but it was someone that knew everything about him to that point, could see all the signs that lead to that moment. With Dad, while he knew him up to that moment as well, he did not know what he was feeling behind the scenes or what he did outside of the castle. It was scarier revealing something to someone when they have the power to decide almost every life decision.

“Are you okay now?” Dad asked, letting Em pull out of the hug and sit on his own. He just nodded, wiping his face that was now very red and very puffy, eyes bloodshot. Patton returned to the room from the kitchen, bottle of water in hand.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” It was the second time that day he had said that to someone, not expecting it to be in the same type of situation either. Em never expected to come out to anyone as soon as this, or at all for that moment, but now that he had to 2 of 3 of his biggest supporters, it felt like the weight that was still resting on her was relaxed, half of the problem gone.

“Now, what you told me, is that something you have felt for a while or recently?” Dad asked, resting his hands on his son’s knees, rubbing his thumbs on them gently. Em nodded to the question, continuing to wipe away a few stray tears. “A long while, it was the reason I got kicked out of the house when I was younger, and why I was mostly hurt in the streets…”

Em looked at his lap, twisting his hands together. Dad nodded and looked at Patton, who nodded back to him as he looked at his lap. He already knew that Pat knew, Em told him close to everything. None of them knew what exactly happened, but they were closer to knowing than before.

“Well, I know for a fact that you already have some of Patton’s clothes, and I am fairly certain you overheard your Pa and I’s conversation.” He raised an eyebrow at the 2, a playful smile on his face. The others lowered their head in shame for being caught.

“Is Pa mad at me?” Em asked, looking up at his dad, but only got a shrug as an answer. “After we left that hallway we didn’t last 5 minutes without him pulling me aside to voice his concerns of what I told him you and Patton do. Of course, we got into an argument about his views for you. It is sad to say he doesn’t want you to be what you are.”

Em sighed and nodded, looking back at Patton who still had his head held low, but a look of anger flashed across his face before he breathed out to calm himself. “I suspected as much, as you have to tell him to stop his rants before they go too far.

“Is that why you tell him to stop? Because you saw me wearing Patton’s clothes?” The question was going to be asked, and King Logan knew that, but he didn’t know it would be so soon. While, yes, that had been the main reason there was more to it.

It was for the fact that it was when he saw someone he suspected to be doing so, wearing the opposite genders’ clothes, that he would start to go on rants, saying how disgraceful it was and that there was a reason the clothing sections were never mixed. He mostly stopped his husbands ranting because it was a bad impression on the people and they were to be taken seriously. His way of thinking is a one-way ticket to destruction town.

For all the years that Logan had known Roman, he tried to get him to switch his mindset, coming up unsuccessful every time. He never really tried hard enough, but with the new information of Em no longer being his daughter but his son, it was time to try harder.

“Partially, yes. My efforts to change your fathers’ mind have turned up badly for both him and I. But-” he cut in abruptly seeing that Patton was about to speak up, raising his head to face him. “-I will try harder now with the current situation that is going on.”

Patton nodded and smiled gently. He had always like King Roman more than King Logan, but it was for the reason that Em’s Pa and him were closer alike. He knew that Em had an easier time going to his Dad for help that his Pa, and he loved that he could go to someone else besides him, and was glad that is was one of his parents.

“And I have an important job for you, Patton.” That caught the full attention of both youngers, looking at each other with confusion before the King. “I need you to stay here at all times so I know Em is in good care. Can you do that for me?”

The use of his new name coming from his dad’s mouth made Em smile wide, making that smile even wider when he said that Patton was to stay by his side, tears welling up in eyes that were quickly hidden by looking at his friend.

The acceptance of the people around him was all he wanted, to be loved and cared for the same way as before. And, yes, while Patton was his best friend and he trusted him with his entire being, being accepted by his Dad was the best thing that could happen. It wasn’t his fault he wanted to cry happy tears.

Patton nodded. “I can gladly do that sir.” His smile was just as wide as Em’s, if not wider. He had been protecting him since the beginning of high school, so this was easy. What he would be protecting him from was a mystery, but he was up for the challenge, whatever it was.

\---------------

The night passed with ease after that, Dad and Patton helping Em fix up his room to make it less what it was before. Switching the bright pink covers and sheets with dark purple and black ones they had stored away.

They took out all the clothes that Patton had given to him and placed them in the closet that still contained the dresses he wanted to keep. Dad asked if he was sure he wanted to keep all of the dresses, but he had to please Pa once and a while and make so it wasn’t like he wanted to dress like a guy all the time (when he really did).

When they were all done it was morning, the sun barely peeking over the horizon as people in town slowly started to leave their houses and bustle around. Opening shops, airing out carpets, hanging clothes, helping out kids in the neighbourhood along with one another.

It was amazing to watch, Em having a perfect view from his window. The streets he once lived in went from dead and barren, to lively and full in a few years, wishing that the times he was there didn’t happen. But if they didn’t he wouldn't be here.

So he sat on the little seat sat by the window, knees drawn to his chest as he looked down at the people, a few spotting him and waving. He returns the waves, especially if it was a child that spotted him.

Part of the reason his sleeping schedule was messed up was because he sat here in the early morning, loving the way the streets went from 1 person to 10, to 20, to 50 and more. He loved to track the way he would move around to dodge the people, knowing that he wouldn’t need to as the people were more loving now.

A soft knock came to the door, drawing his attention from the window where he was watching a shopkeeper open his shop, Dad peeking into the room. He went to sleep for an hour, just so the guards wouldn’t freak when they went to go wake him up. From the look in his eyes, it seemed that that hour sleep only made him more tired.

“Hey, Virgil?” He asked, earning a soft smile from the younger. Last night, well an hour ago, right before Patton fell asleep, they had discussed alternate names that they would use in private.

Virgil was on Em’s mind for a long time for names, and if he weren’t to use it for himself maybe he would for a future child. When Dad asked him what name he liked the most, that immediately came to mind.

“I love that!” Patton exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around his friend in a tight hug. “It sounds so nerdy and cool so it fits you perfectly.” With a fond eye roll and a gentle shove, Em pushed him away. “I am not a nerd.”

“You read all my Sherlock books the month that we adopted you because you heard great things about it from the people on the street,” Dad interjected.

“That proves nothing!”

“You read them faster than I did, and I have read them many many times.”

“Okay so maybe I am a nerd,” Em laughed out, rubbing his arm. “Do you both like the name?”

Dad and Patton nodded, hugging him once again. That’s how Patton fell asleep, trapping Virgil underneath him as he slept soundly. Dad left the room not much longer with a gentle kiss left on his son’s forehead. “Try to sleep, but I don’t blame you if you cannot.”

“I see you were unsuccessful in sleeping. Well, wake Patton up and come on down for breakfast. Pa is already down there.” Virgil nodded, looking over at Patton’s sleeping body with a fond smile. He was curled up in a ball, blankets wrapped all around him so even if he wanted to sleep that one hour, it wouldn’t work as he needed a blanket to fall asleep.

“I’ll try to wake him but I make no promises,” he chuckled out, looking back towards Dad who had now stepped fully into the room and was smiling at him. “You like him don’t you?” He smirked like a high schooler trying to dig for drama.

Virgil flushed and looked at his lap. “I guess? I don’t know. I mean…I know I do, but I don’t…know?” Dad chuckled and looked at Patton. “Yeah, he is something, isn’t he? Well, get downstairs before the food gets cold.” And with that, he left the room.

The younger sighed and looked back out the window, spotting a few school children on their way there, waving up at him. Putting a small smile on his face he waved back before getting up off the seat and crossing the room to his bed.

He smiled at Patton, looking at his sleeping state wrapped in all the blankets. He looked so peaceful but thanking some higher power that his arms were wrapped up. Patton didn’t like to be scared, and if you woke him from a deep sleep you would get the same response, a punch.

Gently shaking the sleeping figure, it snorted awake and sat up straight, wiggling around to free his hands. “Calm down, scaredy cat, it’s just me.” Virgil chuckled as he helped free his body from the tens of blankets that were wrapped around the other.

“You scared me. What-” he got cut off by a yawn while reaching a hand up to rub his eyes once they were free. “-time is it?” he finished off.”

“Six-ish.”

“I only slept an hour? Well, that’s a load of bull.” Patton shoved the blankets aside and stood up, stretching. While looking around the room he spotted an open suitcase full of clothes near the window. “Virgil. What’s that?”

Virgil looked to where Patton was looked and he seemed to go paler than he already was. “Nothing. Just hiding some clothes that I have of yours so Pa doesn’t see them,” he lied, rubbing his arm.

Looking back at his friend, he was giving him a skeptical look, making him smile reassuringly. “I promise it’s nothing else, I swear.” Patton sighed and nodded. “Okay, well I’m going to head down for breakfast, wash up quickly and come down.” And he left as well.

Once the door was shut, Virgil ran to the bag and shut it, breathing out deeply. Of course, that wasn’t the reason that it was there, yes he wanted to keep the clothes hidden, but he also wanted to keep himself hidden.

Ever since last year when Pa was showing more and more signs of unacceptance for someone like him, he started to plan how he would run away. Training his horse to carry large loads (more so just his suitcase, but he didn’t know how much he was bringing so it was better safe than sorry), run long distances and faster without as long of breaks. It took a year to get the horse how he wanted it, he was going to leave tonight, but the extra blockage of Patton being there may be a big setback.

Where he was going to go was unknown, but he knew that he may need to leave earlier than planned. He just felt it.

Sighing deeply, he quickly washed up, throwing on a quick outfit, and left the room, racing down the stairs. Once he reached the bottom his Pa was just walking out of the kitchen, presumably to look for him.

When Pa spotted Virgil, a flash of disgust crossed his face before he huffed out and crossed the area between them. “I thought it was a dream,” he said, looking at Virgil’s hair, gently touching and playing with it. Something that was usually a loving act now turned sour. “I guess I was mistaken. Anyways, shall we get to breakfast?”

There was a quickness to his voice, holding out his arm for Virgil to grab and lead him to the dining area. With hesitation, he grabbed onto his arm, a sick feeling starting in his stomach at his father’s comment. He knew he didn’t like the haircut, but to make a comment right in front of him? How many has he made so far behind his back?

Looking towards the other room, he saw Dad reading a book with tense shoulders, Patton just as tense and looking at his lap. Whatever happened previously must not have been good.

Reaching the room, they broke apart and Virgil took a seat next to Patton, Pa next to Dad. Being served, the four of them seemed not interested in conversing at all, mindlessly pushing their food around. It was awkward but gladly needed. None wanted to start a conversation. Well, almost all.

“So,” Pa broke the silence. “Where were you last night Logan? You didn’t come to bed till an hour ago.”

Dad sighed, marking his book and letting it shut before pushing it aside. “I was assisting Vi- Em, rearrange hi- her room.” The 2 slip ups caught the attention of Pa, directing his attention from his plate and over to Dad. “What were you going to say?”

“I do not know what you are speaking of.” Dad looked at Virgil with an apologetic look, who had shut his eyes tight. “You know exactly what you said and I know what you were going to say. And Emmanuelle Vince Lee, you will never be that type of person. You are a female, that is it.”

Virgil tensed, looking down and keeping his eyes shut. “But…I am…” he mumbled out.

“You are not! I did not raise you to be a boy!” King Roman yelled and slammed his hand onto the table. It caused the others to flinch at the force of it, knocking a few glasses over.

“You raised me to be a person!” Virgil snapped up at the sudden noise. “A leader. You did not raise me to be a gender! Why does this specific thing set you off from me being your child?”

“You are a princess!”

“I am not! I’m not anything but a fucking human!” Virgil pushed his chair away from the table and took off upstairs, gaining the attention of Patton at what was going on. He got up and followed him, but being too slow that by the time he reached the room the door was shut and locked.

“Virgil open the door!” He got no answer, it was dead silent in the room, and he knew what happened. That is what the bag was for, and that was the push he needed to go through with it.

\---------------

The cold water that drifted across his skin as he stepped near the water on the beach was his first time to rethink everything that just happened, think about the event that took place.

The moon was high in the sky, and after running away all day he was finally able to emerge from the dark forest and into the moonlight that he so desperately wanted to see, watching it reflect on the little ripples of the ocean water. He had come a long way, and it was apparent by the ocean he was in front of, he couldn’t see that from the castle.< /p> But coming this far, and being this free had its disadvantages. He was away from Patton, he left him behind and thinking about that now caused him to feel nauseous. Yes he left his dad’s back there as well, and yes they had helped him a bunch, he felt closer to Patton. He was always there for him and he left him behind.< /p> Even if there was a chance for Patton to tag along, it wouldn’t have happened, he was too close to his family. Which was amazing. They never fought and always looked out for each other, getting one another out of trouble. In a way, Patton and him were siblings, always together and there for each other.

Sighing, he decided to walk deeper into the water, the water reaching halfway up his thighs, and he’s glad that he switched into shorts and a t-shirt at the first break. The peace that was sitting heavily in the air was broken by the sound of a horse’s footsteps slowly stop in the woods behind him.

They wouldn’t have found him so quickly, would they? He has been running away all day and trained his horse to go the fastest for months. There was no way.

Not wanting to risk it, he ran back to his horse and hopped on, getting ready to move when a voice sounded behind him.

“Freeze!” It was loud and commanding and he knew exactly who it belonged to. “Get off of the horse and raise your hands, state your name and where you are from!”

With a scoff, Virgil shook his head and got off the horse, raising his hands, turning to face the 2 that were shadowed by the thick of the trees. “My name is Virgil Lee from the Kingdom of Regnum lead by King’s Roman and Logan Lee.”

There was silence, and for good reason considering that the names he listed were in the general area. It was dead quiet, the only sound came from the ocean by the waves hitting the water and the sand.

“Emmanuelle, why?” King Roman spoke out, slipping off his horse and stepping out of the darkened forest and into the moonlit clearing, quickly followed by King Logan. He was holding onto the other’s arm tightly as if he would do something dangerous that he had to be held back from.

“Who’s Emmanuelle?” Virgil asked as if he didn’t know the answer. Even though he had just changed his name, hearing it felt like a knife driving it into him and twisting it, saying it felt like he was dying.

It was just changed but it felt like it had been for years, and to him, it has been. That name has been in his mind for years, that name is what identified him. It was for him and just for him, so hearing it after officially letting it become part of his life felt horrible. “I feel like you misheard me. My name is Virgil.”

All he got was a glare from King Roman, a sigh from the other. King Logan knew it wasn’t his fault that this happened, but he could have done more to prevent it. Virgil shrugged and hopped back onto the horse, wrapping the straps around his hands, looking back at the 2. “I think you have the wrong person, keep looking though! I’m sure you’ll find them with a bit of opening.”

“Emmanuelle, I did not raise a disrespectful teenager!” King Roman yelled and stepped forward, easing his husband’s hand off his arm. “You raised one that breaks the law, so I guess you raised a rebellious one. I spent years thinking I was fucked up cause I didn’t know what was wrong. I pushed all of that aside because of the life you 2 gave me.

“I knew I should have been happy, and I tried and tried but most of the time I wasn’t because of your views. When I cut my hair I was happy, and you saw what happened. I am not a girl for Christ sakes! People like you are why I was on the streets. And if your automatic place in royalty is more important than my happiness I don’t know why you came looking…”

And he rode off, passing the 2 that were now standing still in shock. He had never stood up like that before, but this was him, his life, and he wasn’t going to let anyone tell him who he was anymore. He was not going to let anyone shame him for being him again.

He went as fast as the horse would go, tears pricking at his eyes. He was 16, he had no idea how to live on his own unless it’s in the streets. He didn’t want to see them so soon after leaving them and everything behind. Seeing them reminded him of Patton, of what he may be thinking or doing.

They had been his biggest supports, but it seemed like Pa was pretending to be happy with him. He only seemed to be proud of him when he did something big in front of the crowd, which was only limited to a few occurrences. It was already clear it was mainly up to Dad that they adopted him.

Over the years they could all see him shrinking back into his own world and it was a rarity to see him emerge from his room other than events and meals. When it did, it was limited to his fathers and Patton.

Most of it was due to the overwhelming stress of being around others for long periods of time, as that what being a princess was about, but it was also narrowed down to needing time to understand what was happening to him and why he felt why he did.

The tears started to fall down his face as he kept riding, try to run away from his thoughts and away from the constant patter of the horse's hooves behind him. Hooves behind him?

Turning his head to the side he glanced behind him, seeing 3 horses behind him, but not being able to see who was riding them. But he could take a guess at who 2 of them are, not the third, possibly a guard to keep them safe.

Looking back forwards, his horse skids to a stop, it’s breathing heavy from how fast Virgil made it run. They hit a dead end, a wall that wasn’t there before, or not that he knew of. Then again he didn’t take time to look at the scenery, worrying about escaping.

Of course, when he was so close to getting away he had to hit a dead end and everything be ruined. Now, the 3 horses that were after him slowed to a stop, and he didn’t dare looks behind him, not wanting to see the third in case of being lured back into town.

“You know, staring at the wall won’t make it disappear.” King Roman spoke as he slid off the horse, taking steps towards Virgil, laying a gentle hand on his leg. His hand was kicked away as Virgil got off of the horse and kept his back to him.

“Leave me alone, I’m not going back,” Virgil mumbled as fixed the straps on the horse, fishing around the bag for water and food for it, ignoring the other set of footsteps that approached behind him. “What about Patton?” King Logan asked.

Virgil tensed and tears pricked his eyes, inhaling deeply to stop himself from crying. “I-I… I told you I’m not going… I didn’t want to leave him but I couldn’t stay either. He would make me stay and he wouldn’t come with because he can’t leave his family.”

The few tears that were being held back started to fall, slipping down his face in a slow stream as one hand reached up and wiped them away. He never wanted to hurt Patton, or do anything that would, but this decision would hurt him, he would lose Patton as a friend. And he wasn’t ready to accept that fate.

“Do you love him?” King Roman asked, bending down in front of Virgil, moving his hand off of his face and cupping his face gently, his rough and calloused hands still having the love and warmth that was there when they were first placed on his cheeks.

“Are you okay, Emmanuelle?” Pa asked, stooping low to the ground to appear shorter than her. It was something he started to do as he noticed how uncomfortable she was when he tried to comfort her while towering above her.

With a quick shake of her head, he gently reached up and placed his hands against the soft, flushed, damp cheeks of her face, letting the roughness of the rest against them. She leaned into the touch and began to cry more, wondering how she managed to be part of such a loving family.

She could forget her old one, forget how much they hurt her for how she acted and what she wanted to wear. “Girls wear dresses, not pants. They wear flats, not sneakers.” They would say to her, and then that she would be used as a weapon, and the bruises caused by it were nothing compared to the ones given her by the others on the street. That didn’t erase the fact that they hurt.

They were ruthless to her in the streets, and she had to constantly run away from everyone, being hurt in multiple ways from different people. She was lucky to still be alive right now. In some way, she guessed she would be luckier to have stayed with her old family, but then she wouldn’t have the loving dads that she does now.

She would never give them up for the world.

He nodded his head, crying more as he fell into Pa’s hold, weeping into his shoulder. He didn’t want to admit it but he had to. He loved Patton so much and he would never want to do anything that hurt him. Patton would never do something so foolish as dating him now.

“I-I do… I really do…” Virgil cried out as Pa wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight. “I want to go home… I’m sorry…” he whimpered out.

Pa nodded and gently picked him up, carrying him to his horse and climbed on. There was whispering going on next to them, but Virgil couldn’t focus on what was being said, as  
all he could think of was the warmth Pa was giving off. Slowly, but surely, he slipped into the deep slumber he’d fought off all day, and finally let his mind take control instead of fighting it.

\---------------

“No, you can’t, he’ll freak!”

“I don’t care if he’ll freak, okay yes I will, I don’t want him to, but I have to apologize and Patton said he likes this cake.”

A groan sounded from the first person he heard speak and a soft chuckle comes from the other, sounded oddly like Pa and Dad. “Did I miss anything? Is he okay?” Patton rushed out, causing a soft smile to spread across Virgil’s face at the sound of his voice and at the thought of him in general.

“No, he isn’t awake, still sleeping sadly,” a voice that he didn’t recognize said. Confused he sat up and rubbing his eyes, groaning at the light. The room fell silent as he blinked away the blurriness in his eyes, looking at the 4 people that stood there.

Looking at one of them, he tilted his eyes and looked him up and down. He looked familiar. “Thomas?” he asked, earning a nod. “Hi, Virgil.”

It was silent and still for a bit before Virgil smiled wide as he got up quickly and ran to his brother, wrapping his arms tight around him, the other returning it just as tight. “I-I missed you so so much,” Virgil whimpered out as he instantly started bawling the second he felt Thomas hug him. It had been over 10 years since he felt his arms around him. “I missed you too.”

“Did you miss me?” Patton asked, smiling at Virgil. He pulled out of the hug and seemed to cry more for a different reason, guilt washing over him. “I’m so sorry.” With the same strength as before, he hugs Patton, crying into his shoulder. “I love you…” he whispered out.

“I love you too,” Patton answered, hugging him back tight. Virgil gently pulled away and wiped his face, smiling at the other. Just as about he was going to apologize again, Patton surged forwards and kissed him just like the last time they did. He melted into it, kissing back while shutting his eyes.

Virgil's hands reached up to hold the other's face gently, Patton's hands holding his elbows as the kiss deepened. After a few moments, Pa spoke up. “Okay break it up I want a hug.”

With a soft chuckle, the 2 pulled away, red-faced. Patton let Virgil go, letting him throw his arms around his father's crouched form.

“I am sorry for how I treated you, I am so so sorry,” Pa spoke softly, full of love and sorrow.

“It’s okay, I still love you, Pops.”

“I love you too, my prince.”


End file.
